Noble Heart is an audiobook I recently listened to during my laundry day. Like many other Pema Chödrön’s lectures, ‘Noble Heart’ is worth listening to in this hustle bustle everyday life. One of the big realizations in the lecture was a concept of ego-clinging. Ego-clinging is a concept, in which identify ourselves. If we identify with someone or something positive, it feels pleasant. However, this is not always the case. For example, I always identified myself as a nice guy or good guy or one who had a righteous morality in any situation.
In my perception, society actually forces one to be nice to others and to be politically correct such as avoiding confrontation. The problem is our emotions, and our lives are constantly changing, and this fixed identification, being a nice person is not always being true to ourselves. Here is the situation. I identify myself as a polite man, and I usually yield my seat for seniors or for young children on a bus. (I usually sit in the rear on the bus.) But, after an intense physical training or or feeling very stressed out from a relationship, I want to close my eyes, and pretend to sleep on the bus. Nevertheless, I stand up and suggest that others have my seat.
Sometimes, we are too harsh to ourselves. This leads to a lot of distress since it forces the idea that, ‘gotta do, should do, or must do,’ type of things. It is a good idea to give ourselves permission to take a little break from being a good man or good woman. Let your muscles of compassion and respect recover from daily exhaustion. Compassion, honesty, and respect are virtues that are supposed to spring from a natural way in a relaxed mind.
It starts with being true to yourself.